WOW. lol Where have I been ???? Honestly i just stumbled on this website. Omg I forgot all about this 😦 But here I am. I think the reason I’m here and typing is because of a recent event that happened. Ok so guys.. I’m living/walking/talking/breathing (whatever!!) miracle.
So on August 11th, of this year 2017, i almost lost my life. It’s really a embarrassing story and disappointing story because it’s my fault. And not only did i almost lost my life, almost killed a friend and a complete stranger. Ok so on this summer night my friend and I decided to got for food at this restaurant on the western side of the island. Before we went she hyped me up about this drink this particular restaurant has. The Mojito Bucket’. Ok so i’m hyped and excited about trying this. Knowing i’m the designated driver and all. But that didn’t matter at the time of course or even went through my mind. We were accompanied by a family member of my friend who suggested this restaurant and drink. Yes I’m being vague about the names and places , lol just for security reasons. Anyway fast forward , we’re having a blast ok? I’m a bit tipsy laughing smiling and dancing (to no music lol) It’s so amazing because we were having fun and taking pictures like it was our last. Anyway we’re leaving the restaurant me and my friend who i came with.(told me about the restaurant) . Now her family member was driving by himself so he followed us while I’m ahead.
Now this around 12:45 am on Friday. I’m drunk yes but I really didn’t think so yinno, i thought i was straight able to drive because well i drove to a certain point so far. So now I want to speed (idiot I know) . And during that time thats when it happened . My car lost control, flipped over hitting someone else’s car and a wall of someones home. I tell you this now I to this day, 4 days after, I have NO CLUE how me and my friend got out and are alive. Because the outcome of both cars in the accident are deadly. So none of us got seriously hurt just bruises and soreness.
Now today, currently. I’m at fault (DUH). I’m dealing with guilt, disappointed, insurance company, the police .. soo much more I don’t have the words to describe. I’m a complete mess mentally but I’m strong you know too strong i think sometimes. Honestly i thought this was going to be an eye opener for me you know. A life changer (who knows though) I just don’t feel no different. Everyone who knows about the accident os saying how i;m so lucky, blessed, God warning me, miracle , that i have a living testimony. And i totally agree but i Just don’t feel no change. just nothing. Im basically back to how life was before.. depending on my brother for a ride. It’s soooo frustrating and crazy because not only did i just started driving this car for about 3 weeks now but my brother but so much money in to it and stupid me stupidly ruined it. Like wow.I’’m awful. also i feel that my brother is being so soft on me, no i don’t accept to get beating or grounded but… just some shouting you know lol ? but i guess he’s more happy i’m alive because seriously you guys i don’t think i was suppose to make well at least people who get in accidents like that don’t survive. No i haven’t apologise to my brother like i probably should neither the lady who I ran in to. and this is the issue !! , someone who got in a accident like that would automatically feel like they should but i don’t i;m the sameeee ! selfish mess.. sigh
Anywho , how do i feel now ? what’s next?
well this was a life lesson that i 100% needed. I do/did need to slow down on the going out swell (especially ) the drinking. Yes i’ve learned from this. so now back to the drawing board or square one. I need to save. focus on myself mentally and spiritually guess because i’m basically on house arrest for a while lol.
I’m still in denial this actually happen to me. like woah. And i always thought and told my self that i will be careful and not stupid when it came to driving and there it happens. so weird.
In closing i hope i can get back at writing and expressing myself and whats going on in my life.. Other than that event i guess life is ok. I’m working now, since April at this new hotel here in the Bahamas.. retail department .. no its not the best and fun department but i’m making money and thats all that sorta matters right now.. yes my happiness to but thats on whole for further notice. So i’m just going through the days..
Thats life.. its’s crazy. I do need to buckle up myself though I’m 21 now and I want a lot out of life .. I want clothes shoes you know? expensive things I want to travel and I still want to go off to school. I think about how i’m going to achieve these things. GOD? I don’t know why I’m so scared and in so much doubt about him like this accident wasn’t enough for me to realise ? (thats part of me saying that) or could just be simply luck that i’m still here.. I DONT KNOW and i hate it !!
Sigh. thats it for me. Night xoxoxoxo